we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
