His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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