no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
