mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
