I can tuck mytits in my pants
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
