his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
