you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
