i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
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By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
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How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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