dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
