Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
