I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
