I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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