u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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