I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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