I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
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After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
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You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
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