She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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