Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So here I am, sexting at work.
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