spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
