I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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