Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
