Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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