Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
