you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
