Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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