im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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