I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
