I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
