Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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