My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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