So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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