ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
