apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
