This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
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