I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
