I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
