i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
