everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
