shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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