I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
