8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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