If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
