We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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