Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
