I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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