Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
only you would photoshop your dick
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
