is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
