Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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