He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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