i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize