how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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