I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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