i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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