Dual....:-)
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
