see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
