He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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