In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
