I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
