we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
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I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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